P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 148.0
Today: 146.6
Released Since Start of VLCD: 13.8
Total lb. Released with hCG: 33.6
So, yeah. Been absent a minute... and it's mostly because I feel guilty and ashamed of myself and because I hate, hate, hate to disappoint people. I know that sounds ridiculous and this is my protocol and my weight loss and I shouldn't care what other people think.
But I do.
SO - I have not been good for... oh... about a week now. By "good" I mean eating on-protocol. I think that my first "all on protocol" day this week was yesterday, and I lost a good pound-and-a-half overnight. Which is great!
Except we went to Uccello's today for lunch.
I had a grilled chicken and pesto pizza... which isn't so bad, except for the gallon of olive oil they must put in the pesto. :P Add a lil cheese and crust in there, and I feel like a total goon. It did taste good, and I didn't overstuff myself. Still, I am still on hCG, and I probably will not see another loss tomorrow morning, if not a gain.
Though I've been deviating from protocol, there are a few reasons that I don't feel so much regret. For one, I know that my fat is still redistributing. My clothes continue to feel looser, and my boyfriend still comments that my hips feel smaller and I look like I'm still losing weight. For another, I was feeling reeeally crappy there for a week or better. I don't know if it was low iron or what, but I could hardly get out of bed and I felt like something the cat dragged in for most of the day, every day. I ate a somewhat normal meal last week, and I felt better almost immediately. I was thinking about maybe testing my hCG to make sure it's still good.
Still, for those who I've encouraged and admonished and tried to support through their deviations (or very near), I feel like a big jerk admitting that I've not followed protocol. I should probably just get over myself, huh?! lol I just don't want someone starting new with hCG to read my blog and think it's cool to just lah-dee-dah through P2. I'm sure my stalled losses speak for themselves, though.
Am I over-thinking this?? I feel bad because I did it, but I also feel bad because I don't really feel bad about it. LOL I think the best thing to do is start taking this one day at a time again, and stop feeling bad.
On the upside, I've made it my goal to finish this round in the 35 (Total) Pound Club. I only have 1.4 pounds to go, and I'd really like to end up in the 40-Club. I'll keep my fingers crossed. We also went shopping today, and I am officially in a size 8! :D All of my jeans are too big, so I went and bought a couple of new-to-me pairs at a local re-sale shop ($3.00 per pair and 50% off today!) along with a couple extra size 7's for incentive. Along with the jeans, I found a really pretty pink skirt outfit and a gorgeous black and white formal gown - both in size 7. So I have a goal again... I think part of my problem is that I fit into a bunch of my smallest clothes and temporarily lost my drive... Hmmmm....
Anyhow, we are off to shop again - this time for groceries and a princess dress for my daughter. Sunday is her birthday, and I found the cutest Pink Pricess Tea Party recipe book at her last book fair. So yes, we are going to have 6-10 beautiful pricesses in my house for Saturday afternooon tea, and the Guest of Honor simply must be the most beautiful princess of all. ;)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
P2R2 Day 27 - Holding Steady
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 147.0
Today: 147.0
Released Since Start of VLCD: 13.0
Total lb. Released with hCG: 33.2
Nothing exciting to report, I just wanted to check in with everybody. I've pretty much been holding at this weight for three days now, but I'm not concerned. I'm not hungry, and I know that my fat is on the move.
That said, I do hope the whoosh-fairy visits soon! :)
This next ten pounds is likely not going to come off easily, because I haven't been below 135 pounds since early high school. I'm going to finish up this round and get as far as I can get - P3 ought to be fun! lol
Yesterday: 147.0
Today: 147.0
Released Since Start of VLCD: 13.0
Total lb. Released with hCG: 33.2
Nothing exciting to report, I just wanted to check in with everybody. I've pretty much been holding at this weight for three days now, but I'm not concerned. I'm not hungry, and I know that my fat is on the move.
That said, I do hope the whoosh-fairy visits soon! :)
This next ten pounds is likely not going to come off easily, because I haven't been below 135 pounds since early high school. I'm going to finish up this round and get as far as I can get - P3 ought to be fun! lol
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
P2R2 Day 24 - Reflections on Deviating & Stalling
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 148.0
Today: 148.0
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.4
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.2
Am I sensing a lot of frustration out in blogland or WHAT?! ;) I'm going to take this time to breathe, relax and maybe talk through some things.
The past few days have been a debacle VLCD-wise. I gained back nearly 13% of my total loss, and I'm halfway through protocol. Not good. I knew it would happen, I was in total control, and I chose to sacrifice my awesome progress for the short-term. I own it, and I just hope that decision doesn't affect my ability to maintain in the long-run.
I ate next to nothing yesterday, and nothing that was on-protocol. I also skipped my injection for the second day in a row yesterday. I'm not sure if that was wise or not, but I took my dose today and am starting fresh. Regret is a wasted emotion.
My main concern when I (or anyone else) deviate is that my hypothalamus is not going to be properly reset and that I will have a harder time maintaining my total loss. This is especially crucial during the first 23 days of protocol. Doctor Simeons writes,
This is one of several reasons that people progressing to P3 can have more of a challenge keeping their weight steady. Not deviating from protocol, especially during the initial three weeks, is crucial. But that is another blog-post altogether! :)
I also wanted to talk about stalls. I was stalled before this debacle came about, but I am sure that I was losing inches. I was told about one person who played with the same weight over an extended period, but ended up losing over 2 inches in each thigh during that time. The protocol was and is still working, even though the scale hasn't registered the way I'd like it to.
Long story short, I am not going to crown myself dubiously as a "Deviating Diva". I made a choice and am simply reaping the "rewards" of it. It was a learning experience and is now part of the past. If I continue to be stalled, I will not fret. I am going to honor this time of rest for my body, and trust that the protocol is still working for me, even without the drop in numbers scale-wise.
This protocol is a God-send and a miracle. I will not squander its potential any more for the short-term.
I will succeed.
Yesterday: 148.0
Today: 148.0
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.4
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.2
Am I sensing a lot of frustration out in blogland or WHAT?! ;) I'm going to take this time to breathe, relax and maybe talk through some things.
The past few days have been a debacle VLCD-wise. I gained back nearly 13% of my total loss, and I'm halfway through protocol. Not good. I knew it would happen, I was in total control, and I chose to sacrifice my awesome progress for the short-term. I own it, and I just hope that decision doesn't affect my ability to maintain in the long-run.
I ate next to nothing yesterday, and nothing that was on-protocol. I also skipped my injection for the second day in a row yesterday. I'm not sure if that was wise or not, but I took my dose today and am starting fresh. Regret is a wasted emotion.
My main concern when I (or anyone else) deviate is that my hypothalamus is not going to be properly reset and that I will have a harder time maintaining my total loss. This is especially crucial during the first 23 days of protocol. Doctor Simeons writes,
It seems that even in the mildest cases of obesity the diencephalon requires about three weeks rest from the maximal exertion to which it has been previously subjected in order to regain fully its normal fat-banking capacity. Clinically this expresses itself in the fact that when in these mild cases treatment is stopped as soon as the weight is normal, which may be achieved in a week, it is much more easily regained than after a full course of 23 injections.
This is one of several reasons that people progressing to P3 can have more of a challenge keeping their weight steady. Not deviating from protocol, especially during the initial three weeks, is crucial. But that is another blog-post altogether! :)
I also wanted to talk about stalls. I was stalled before this debacle came about, but I am sure that I was losing inches. I was told about one person who played with the same weight over an extended period, but ended up losing over 2 inches in each thigh during that time. The protocol was and is still working, even though the scale hasn't registered the way I'd like it to.
Long story short, I am not going to crown myself dubiously as a "Deviating Diva". I made a choice and am simply reaping the "rewards" of it. It was a learning experience and is now part of the past. If I continue to be stalled, I will not fret. I am going to honor this time of rest for my body, and trust that the protocol is still working for me, even without the drop in numbers scale-wise.
This protocol is a God-send and a miracle. I will not squander its potential any more for the short-term.
I will succeed.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
P2R2 Day 22 - Chocolate Hell
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 147.8
Today: 146.2 (-1.6)
Released Since Start of VLCD: 14.2 lb.
Total lb. Released with hCG: 34.0
I'm experiencing some frustration and confusion today.
I have not moved on the scale one stinken ounce in the past three days. I have also not had a BM in over a week. (Sorry, no TMI warning... I'm just rambling.) BF could not find any "booboo tea" (as he calls it. lol) at the store the other day, and I have not had the ambition to go to the store and find my own.
Yesterday, I went to a close friend's 50th birthday party. I didn't realize there were going to be 30 people packed into this nice lady's single-wide. :) I sat at the kitchen table with her for most of the party, and directly in front of me was my water... a pan of brownies and two pans of cupcakes. I saw the chocolate icing, and strangely enough I really could have cared less if I ate one or not. They looked good, don't get me wrong, but not unavoidable even at 6 inches. I was hungry, though. I ended up rationalizing in my head that she was never going to have another 50th birthday party, I haven't seen this nice lady in years (she was my mom's best friend and we keep in touch online mostly) and oh well if I gain some back.
I ended up eating one cupcake (which tasted like crap except for the icing) and three brownies. The brownies tasted good, but I was left feeling like... "That's IT??" They didn't taste all that great, and I was not even close to satisfied. Plus, about two minutes later I felt like there was a rock in the pit of my stomache, my teeth felt gritty and my head was buzzing from all the sugar. I felt sick and ended up leaving early. D: If anything has cured my "sweet" cravings - that was it!
***TMI Alert***TMI Alert***
So I had a (very) small BM when I got home, probably from the sugar-shock. Does anyone else's stool look funny since starting the protocol? Don't give me that funny face, either, because I know you all look. HA! I ate an entire head of broccoli yesterday and drank at least a gallon of water (before the party) trying to get something to happen, and nothing.
So how did I drop over 1.5 pounds?? I don't get it... Probably the mass amount of water. Who knows. Anyhow, hope your weekends are going well and take it from me:
Stay AWAY from the sugar! It's NOT worth it!! >:P
Yesterday: 147.8
Today: 146.2 (-1.6)
Released Since Start of VLCD: 14.2 lb.
Total lb. Released with hCG: 34.0
I'm experiencing some frustration and confusion today.
I have not moved on the scale one stinken ounce in the past three days. I have also not had a BM in over a week. (Sorry, no TMI warning... I'm just rambling.) BF could not find any "booboo tea" (as he calls it. lol) at the store the other day, and I have not had the ambition to go to the store and find my own.
Yesterday, I went to a close friend's 50th birthday party. I didn't realize there were going to be 30 people packed into this nice lady's single-wide. :) I sat at the kitchen table with her for most of the party, and directly in front of me was my water... a pan of brownies and two pans of cupcakes. I saw the chocolate icing, and strangely enough I really could have cared less if I ate one or not. They looked good, don't get me wrong, but not unavoidable even at 6 inches. I was hungry, though. I ended up rationalizing in my head that she was never going to have another 50th birthday party, I haven't seen this nice lady in years (she was my mom's best friend and we keep in touch online mostly) and oh well if I gain some back.
I ended up eating one cupcake (which tasted like crap except for the icing) and three brownies. The brownies tasted good, but I was left feeling like... "That's IT??" They didn't taste all that great, and I was not even close to satisfied. Plus, about two minutes later I felt like there was a rock in the pit of my stomache, my teeth felt gritty and my head was buzzing from all the sugar. I felt sick and ended up leaving early. D: If anything has cured my "sweet" cravings - that was it!
***TMI Alert***TMI Alert***
So I had a (very) small BM when I got home, probably from the sugar-shock. Does anyone else's stool look funny since starting the protocol? Don't give me that funny face, either, because I know you all look. HA! I ate an entire head of broccoli yesterday and drank at least a gallon of water (before the party) trying to get something to happen, and nothing.
So how did I drop over 1.5 pounds?? I don't get it... Probably the mass amount of water. Who knows. Anyhow, hope your weekends are going well and take it from me:
Stay AWAY from the sugar! It's NOT worth it!! >:P
Friday, March 20, 2009
R2P2 Day 20 - Zzzzz...
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 147.8
Today: 147.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.6
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.4
I've decided not to include my daily average release anymore. I'm not really concerned with it. It can feel kind of negative, actually, since it almost always goes down. So I'll do one at the end of P2 but no more daily tally.
Yesterday was fun. Uneventful VLCD-wise, but it felt so good to be able to put on those pants and zip them up all the way without sucking in my gut. That feeling of success is worth every second of effort put into this protocol. I also bought a string-bikini the other day while we were at the store... Something I never, EVER would have worn after I had my daughter. You know what? I put that baby on last night and my BF's jaw dropped to the floor. LOL I'm no model, y'all, but it actually looked good. Yesterday was full of firsts... It was a great day!
Today I am tired. I stayed up way too late doing schoolwork I'd procrastinated on all day long. This morning I woke up to no movement on the scale. More than likely due to no "movement" of another kind in about a week. Wonderful BF is going to the store for me as we speak to get the "good" tea. ;) So once I get a cup or two of the "poopy tea" (as it was coined during my first round - lmao) and a good night's rest, I should be right back on track.
Until tomorrow ~*~
Yesterday: 147.8
Today: 147.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.6
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.4
I've decided not to include my daily average release anymore. I'm not really concerned with it. It can feel kind of negative, actually, since it almost always goes down. So I'll do one at the end of P2 but no more daily tally.
Yesterday was fun. Uneventful VLCD-wise, but it felt so good to be able to put on those pants and zip them up all the way without sucking in my gut. That feeling of success is worth every second of effort put into this protocol. I also bought a string-bikini the other day while we were at the store... Something I never, EVER would have worn after I had my daughter. You know what? I put that baby on last night and my BF's jaw dropped to the floor. LOL I'm no model, y'all, but it actually looked good. Yesterday was full of firsts... It was a great day!
Today I am tired. I stayed up way too late doing schoolwork I'd procrastinated on all day long. This morning I woke up to no movement on the scale. More than likely due to no "movement" of another kind in about a week. Wonderful BF is going to the store for me as we speak to get the "good" tea. ;) So once I get a cup or two of the "poopy tea" (as it was coined during my first round - lmao) and a good night's rest, I should be right back on track.
Until tomorrow ~*~
Thursday, March 19, 2009
R2P2 Day 19 - Muffin-less Me!
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 148.2
Today: 147.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.6 lb.
Average Daily Release: 0.79 lb.
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.4
Playing catch-up today. Yesterday we were up and running most of the day and I just plain forgot! Nothing really eventful with protocol, though.
BF is really noticing the changes in my body and says so often. He kept pulling at the seat of my jeans yesterday and saying things like, "Where's your butt??" LOL All in good fun, because I've never had one! Seriously, though - I put on a pair of jeans yesterday (fresh outta the dryer) That are always a bit snug at first, and they slid right on with room to spare! OMG! Same this morning, except these are my "muffin-top" jeans because they sit so low on my hips. Guess what - NO MUFFIN!! I'm going to be adventurous after I post this and go try on my "boloney-skin" khakis that I used to only wear to work when there was nothing else.
This is what I ate:
Breakfast: 1 orange
Lunch (4 p.m.): 3 asparagus spears and 100g low-fat cottage cheese + 1 orange (yuuummm)
Dinner (8:30 p.m.): Krab un-wich with mustard
Have any of you ever been to Jimmy John's? They have an un-wich that's wrapped in huge lettuce leaves instead of bread. SO good. I don't seem to be stalling with the imitation crab meat, so I'm going to keep it unless I stall. I also bought broccoli last night and I'm going to try it out. I know it's a little late this round, but I cannot stand the sight of asparagus, cabbage or celery anymore! lol
I bought Vitamin C, zinc and echinacea last night, because I am NEVER sick this long. Every morning I wake up with a swollen, sore throat that is starting to last though most of the day. I'm starting to think it might be allergies. I'm going to see my NAET lady not this coming Monday, but the next. Gotta love the budget.
Aunt B. will be here soon to walk. This is something new we're doing... Physical Exertion. Grimace.
More tomorrow ... ~*~
Yesterday: 148.2
Today: 147.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 12.6 lb.
Average Daily Release: 0.79 lb.
Total lb. Released with hCG: 32.4
Playing catch-up today. Yesterday we were up and running most of the day and I just plain forgot! Nothing really eventful with protocol, though.
BF is really noticing the changes in my body and says so often. He kept pulling at the seat of my jeans yesterday and saying things like, "Where's your butt??" LOL All in good fun, because I've never had one! Seriously, though - I put on a pair of jeans yesterday (fresh outta the dryer) That are always a bit snug at first, and they slid right on with room to spare! OMG! Same this morning, except these are my "muffin-top" jeans because they sit so low on my hips. Guess what - NO MUFFIN!! I'm going to be adventurous after I post this and go try on my "boloney-skin" khakis that I used to only wear to work when there was nothing else.
This is what I ate:
Breakfast: 1 orange
Lunch (4 p.m.): 3 asparagus spears and 100g low-fat cottage cheese + 1 orange (yuuummm)
Dinner (8:30 p.m.): Krab un-wich with mustard
Have any of you ever been to Jimmy John's? They have an un-wich that's wrapped in huge lettuce leaves instead of bread. SO good. I don't seem to be stalling with the imitation crab meat, so I'm going to keep it unless I stall. I also bought broccoli last night and I'm going to try it out. I know it's a little late this round, but I cannot stand the sight of asparagus, cabbage or celery anymore! lol
I bought Vitamin C, zinc and echinacea last night, because I am NEVER sick this long. Every morning I wake up with a swollen, sore throat that is starting to last though most of the day. I'm starting to think it might be allergies. I'm going to see my NAET lady not this coming Monday, but the next. Gotta love the budget.
Aunt B. will be here soon to walk. This is something new we're doing... Physical Exertion. Grimace.
More tomorrow ... ~*~
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
P2R2 Day 17 - Milk Mishap & Aunt B's On Board!
P2R2 Starting Weight 03/01/09: 160.0
Yesterday: 148.8
Today: 148.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 11.6
Average Daily Release: 0.83
Total lb. Released with hCG: 31.4
Big 'o goose egg today. My eating has been very clean, but I can't seem to shake my aversion to veggies and chicken. All I ever want is eggs, eggs and more eggs! I have to get to the store and get some more 96/4 burger and low-fat cottage cheese.
Last night I did not eat dinner. I also did not drink enough water because we were over at my dad's doing laundry, at the park and then back to my dad's to finish the laundry. All told, we didn't get home until 10:30. We won't even talk about the Diet Pepsi. Sigh. There is always tomorrow! Except...
Today was Eat Lunch with a Special Person Day at my daughter's Elementary School. I dutifully packed a container with romaine salad and hard-boiled eggs and went on my merry way - totally in control. I'm not sure how it happened, but in the ten minutes I stood there holding my lunch and my daughter's hand, I forgot that I couldn't have milk. She handed me a pint of chocolate, we went through the line and I sat and drank the whole stinken thing while she and five other first-graders jabbered my ears off. We then proceeded to the book fair to pick out a book about pets, and I went home. I didn't even realize what I'd done until I was all the way home! D:
Oh well, we shall see how this affects the bottom line. I will drink extra water and cut my protein at dinner, maybe. Any suggestions?
On a brighter note, my aunt is ready to start! We sat down and figured out the cost of doing 2 rounds for her and one more for me. How much does it cost to lose 100 lb. on another plan? I can't say from personal experience, but from the stats in the article, it will take 3 years or better. Any commercial plan you follow has some type of fee involved, not to mention special food. All told, I'm sure it's a whole lot more than you would pay for a nice pair of shoes!!
Anyhow, I ordered the supplies today and will be ordering the hCG within the next couple of days. I did have an extra vial of it left over from my last order, so I gave her that to do this round with. As soon as her shipment comes in, she'll be ready for the dreaded Load. Yipee! My first hCG recruit! LOL I'm so happy for her. I just hope that the rest of our family will see and maybe want to do it. I'd love nothing more than to have the 'fat' stigma gone from this family. It's like, if you're one of us, you're doomed for obesity. How excellent would it be to shift that paradigm?
Until tomorrow,
Your Dairy-Deviating Paradigm-Buster - moi!
Yesterday: 148.8
Today: 148.8
Released Since Start of VLCD: 11.6
Average Daily Release: 0.83
Total lb. Released with hCG: 31.4
Big 'o goose egg today. My eating has been very clean, but I can't seem to shake my aversion to veggies and chicken. All I ever want is eggs, eggs and more eggs! I have to get to the store and get some more 96/4 burger and low-fat cottage cheese.
Last night I did not eat dinner. I also did not drink enough water because we were over at my dad's doing laundry, at the park and then back to my dad's to finish the laundry. All told, we didn't get home until 10:30. We won't even talk about the Diet Pepsi. Sigh. There is always tomorrow! Except...
Today was Eat Lunch with a Special Person Day at my daughter's Elementary School. I dutifully packed a container with romaine salad and hard-boiled eggs and went on my merry way - totally in control. I'm not sure how it happened, but in the ten minutes I stood there holding my lunch and my daughter's hand, I forgot that I couldn't have milk. She handed me a pint of chocolate, we went through the line and I sat and drank the whole stinken thing while she and five other first-graders jabbered my ears off. We then proceeded to the book fair to pick out a book about pets, and I went home. I didn't even realize what I'd done until I was all the way home! D:
Oh well, we shall see how this affects the bottom line. I will drink extra water and cut my protein at dinner, maybe. Any suggestions?
On a brighter note, my aunt is ready to start! We sat down and figured out the cost of doing 2 rounds for her and one more for me. How much does it cost to lose 100 lb. on another plan? I can't say from personal experience, but from the stats in the article, it will take 3 years or better. Any commercial plan you follow has some type of fee involved, not to mention special food. All told, I'm sure it's a whole lot more than you would pay for a nice pair of shoes!!
Anyhow, I ordered the supplies today and will be ordering the hCG within the next couple of days. I did have an extra vial of it left over from my last order, so I gave her that to do this round with. As soon as her shipment comes in, she'll be ready for the dreaded Load. Yipee! My first hCG recruit! LOL I'm so happy for her. I just hope that the rest of our family will see and maybe want to do it. I'd love nothing more than to have the 'fat' stigma gone from this family. It's like, if you're one of us, you're doomed for obesity. How excellent would it be to shift that paradigm?
Until tomorrow,
Your Dairy-Deviating Paradigm-Buster - moi!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
